Four Different Kinds of Rejection

Rejection is universal. Everybody has, at one point or the other, experienced some rejection. It can be being dumped by your partner, a potential client declining your proposal, or being un-friended on Facebook. Scientifically, rejection has a biological root and is deeply rooted in our need to survive as humans.

Here are four of the well-known kind of rejection we experience in life.

Being ignored

This is an unspoken rejection. Maybe you’ve put in your time and energy into crafting a truly amazing proposal for a connection in your workplace, and then you do not get a response. It might be sending a romantic text expressing your desires and not getting texted back.

Research has shown that being ignored hurts almost as much as a straight-up “NO.” In the words of a professor at Columbia University, Geraldine Downey, Ph.D. “Being ignored makes you feel like nobody wants you. It makes you feel bad and angry at yourself.”

The straight-up ‘no’ rejection

While this rejection doesn’t hurt as much as being ignored, it can be especially painful and hurtful. When you receive a “no,” it can feel as if you are not worthy or do not deserve getting whatever you were requesting.

It can be taken as a harsh critique or interpretation of your self-worth. Rejection shouldn’t be analyzed emotionally as a clear, logical assessment of the situation and why you were rejected is essential to prevent further rejection.

The kind rejection

While this is becoming quite common and has been the staple of professional relationships, rejection is rejection and hurts even when delivered with polite words. Being passed up on a promotion or having your request to join a social group declined can crush you even when the reasons why are explained.

Research by the University of Michigan Medical School showed that our brains handle social rejection similarly to physical injuries. The up-side to kindly-worded rejection is that it explains why you were rejected, making it simpler to fix what’s wrong and try again with higher chances of being accepted.

The “try this instead” rejection

In most cases – especially in our professional lives – a rejection comes with suggestions for improvement. A potential employer might encourage you to change your skillset and then try applying at another time.

This is also applicable in social settings when rejection comes with helpful advice for improvement and an invitation to try at another time. This type of rejection is easier to deal with as they give you a clear-cut outline for being accepted.

Curriculum

Handling Rejection

Four Different Kinds of Rejection

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